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​The Self-Mastery Journal​

It was 3am and we couldn’t take it anymore.

The kids were uncomfortable, their butts hurt (mine too), and we needed to find a place to stop. Searching for the nearest hotel, we found a room available. Driving through the night doesn’t always go the way you want it to.

So we pivoted.

As we parked and got out of the car I asked my wife, “should I grab a suitcase?”.

“No” She replied. “Just grab the essentials”.

Which, for us, meant the kids’ blankets.

When I tell you we walked in the hotel like a group of zombies with nothing on our backs but clothes and tiny blankets, I mean it . I’m almost certain we didn’t make eye contact or say a word to anyone. Our eyes were on the prize… Bed! We walked straight to our room and immediately crashed.

This story brings me a smile every time I think about it.

And one important piece sticks out:

All we need are the essentials

Best Case Scenario… Isn’t Always the Best Case

It’s easy to get caught up in the “best-case scenario”.

There’s always something to work on. But many times we put it off too long because it’s not perfect. You don’t need perfect to be better and make improvements. But, even if it happens subconsciously, we let it get in the way.

It might looks something like this:

• You want to improve your health —> But you’re overwhelmed because you can’t carve out 2hrs a day 5x a week.
• You have a business idea you’re excited about —> But you keep saying “I’ll start when..”
• You want to read more —> But sitting down to read for an hour doesn’t sound as exciting as watching your favorite show on Netflix.

You’re overcomplicating it without even realizing.

Lower the Bar

Start where you are.

Beginning something new is hard. For some reason we tend to create an imaginary barrier between where we are now and where we want to be. And this barrier keeps us from ever starting in the first place.

Lower the barrier of entry.

If you’re new to this fitness thing —> Start with a 5-minute walk.

If your new business idea is on hold because you’re not ready —> Talk about it as if you’re doing it already.

If you’re letting Netflix win the nightly battle —> Read a page.

Make it so easy it’s impossible to say no.

Focusing on the Essentials is… Essential

There’s no denying it.

If you’re just starting a new behavior, you’re not a pro. You don’t have it all figured out. But that’s totally cool. You don’t need to have it figured out to start. The reason it doesn’t feel perfect is because you’ve never done it before.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about starting. Growth will follow.

• You are where you are.
• You have what you have.
• And that’s enough to start.

And only after you start, will you grow.

You’ll realize that the barriers that you had placed on yourself were imaginary. And as time passes, what once was overwhelming and stopped you from starting is now the obvious and easy next step.

That’s growth.

Until next week!

Dallen “my butt hurt” Reber

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P.S. Thought Exercise: Ask yourself the following questions. And if you’re feeling spicy, write them down!

1. What have you wanted to start/change but haven’t?
2. What imaginary barriers have you placed on yourself that keep you from starting?
3. How can you make it so easy it’s impossible to say no?
4. What does starting now look like?

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